The Country Thing
by PrimeLaughter
Summary: Feliciano has a habit of referring to everyone he knows as a country. Everyone has gotten used to it and ignores it until Ludwig moves to town. His curiosity gets the better of him and he investigates. Will what he finds damage his friendship with Feli, or will it strengthen it? Title sucks, human/country names, and of COURSE there is the main attraction: the yaoi pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I've had this idea for a while now, but finally decided to actually write the story last night. It is supposed to be twisted and a lot little bit confusing, so don't you fret, dearies!**

**The pairing here is ItalyxGermany.**

**There will be plenty of weird semi-angsty stuff mixed in with the fluff.**

**Oooh look, I made a rhyme!**

**Heeheehee...**

**ANYWAYS, I hope y'all like this!**

**Disclaimer: not much I would change about the storyline (aka it has my stamp of approval), but I don't own the characters. Just the story.**

**R&R my pretties!**

* * *

"Germanyyyyy!" An excited voice cried as a slim frame glomped a tall, muscular man.

"It's Ludwig, you know," He mumbled, checking his watch. "We should really head to class, Feliciano. We don't want to be late."

Feliciano sighed, letting go of the older teen. He turned a still-smiling face up to the taller blond.

"I'm Italy, Germany."

"No, you're... Oh, whatever. Come on, you DON'T need another tardy on your record."

The smaller brunette jumped up and wrapped his arms around Ludwig's neck, dragging him down to eye-level.

"Feliciano," The blond warned.

"I'll see you during the International Meeting later! By, Germany!" Feliciano cried, running off down the hallway to his first class.

"Don't you mean lunch?" Ludwig asked the empty spot where his friend had stood a few moments before.

* * *

'He is always spacing out, and that weird country thing he does... What is with that? Some moments it seems like he has a moment of clarity, and actually calls me by my real name. The rest of the time, he's here, but not HERE. I'll ask his brother about it later.'

Ludwig contemplated his friend on his way to the next class. They hadn't even known each other all that long, but the brunette always hugged him like they had known each other for years.

Not that he minded the friendliness, it was just a bit... Weird how he always referred to people as countries.

For example, apparently Ludwig's brother Gilbert, who was off at college, was Prussia, and Feliciano's twin brother, Lovino, was Southern Italy.

In a way, the names sort of made sense. Take Arthur (Britain) for example. He was pretty terrible at cooking, and had a strange on-and-off hate relationship with Francis (France). Francis had an eye for fashion (everyone was just waiting for him to come out of the closet), was a great cook (causing more tension between him and Arthur), and was pretty good at giving romantic advice.

Even so, it didn't always make sense how Feliciano referred to friendships as diplomatic relationships and lunches as International Meetings. Something was a off about the little guy, and Ludwig was determined to find out what.

* * *

"Hey, Honda! Wait up," Ludwig called, chasing after his Japanese friend. This one was a bit obvious, to Feliciano, he was Japan.

"Yes, Ludwig?" Honda replied quietly and politely.

"Ever noticed how strange it is how Feliciano thinks of us all as countries?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Has he always done that?" Ludwig asked, curiously. His family had recently moved here, so he was still getting to know everyone.

"Yes, as much as I can remember. We all just ignore it now."

"Ah."

"See you at lunch, Ludwig."

"Later, Honda."

* * *

Ludwig had just sat down at a lunch table when someone sat besides him. He turned and found Ivan, or to some people, Russia, there. He was never quite sure what to think of this guy. He was really quiet and seemed almost shy, until you got him talking. Then, he would say the creepiest things, all with an innocent little smile. It was rather unsettling.

"Hey there Ivan."

"Having a good day, Ludwig?"

"Yes. You?"

"It has gotten better once Francis and Arthur began arguing again. The possibility of seeing them rip each others throats out in the middle of class, bleeding all over the textbooks made my stomach curl in satisfying anticipation."

"Uh, ok."

"YO! HEY GUYS! NEVER FEAR, I AM HERE!"

Yup, there was Alfred, or America. This one made a lot of sense, with the guy's need to be the best, and his fascination with large quantities of unhealthy foods and all.

Right behind him was his younger brother, Matthew, or Canada. He just tended to melt into the background, which sort of fit.

"GERMANY!"

"Hey, Feliciano," Ludwig mumbled.

"Stay away from my brother you bastard," Lovino growled his daily greeting to Ludwig from behind.

"I'll do what I can," he grumbled in response. He never understood why Lovino seems to hate him so much.

Roderich joined them a few seats down (he was Austria), humming a little tune he was working on. The guy was a pianist prodigy, constantly writing some piece or another.

"Hey, Lovino," Ludwig said, leaning over to ask a question.

"What do you want?"

"I have a question about Feliciano."

"What do you want with him? Are you planning to get him alone in a back alley to rape and murder him?"

"Uh... No. I was wondering why he does the country thing."

"It doesn't have anything to do with you, potato-bastard."

"O-ok," Ludwig mumbled, turning his attention back to his food. Seriously, what was up with that guy?


	2. No Answers Nobody Ever Asked

**So I got a bunch of positive feedback on this story, and I figured since it's a newer one I ought to get a chapter for it out quicker. Don't worry; I'll be sure to chapters for everything else out quickly too. I have a loong carride tomorrow, so plenty of writing time!**

**If anyone wants to suggest a ship for me to throw in here, that would be cool. I have a few of my own, but I would love to see what you guys want. I'll see if I can manage to throw it in.**

**Aaaaand be ready for more mystery!**

**I can't remember if I wrote a disclaimer last time, so here it is**

**Disclainer: I own the storyline, not the characters.**

* * *

"Hey cutie," a provocative voice breathed against a pale neck.

"AAAAAAAAGH!" Feliciano screamed, jumping three feet in the air and running to hide behind Ludwig.

"That wasn't very nice Francis," Ludwig mumbled, knowing his flamboyant classmate wouldn't pay attention to his words. "I would be screaming too; you sounded like a rapist."

"I would LOVE to make you scream," Francis retorted with waggling eyebrows. Ludwig facepalmed; he should have caught that. Around Francis, one always has to be careful with one's phrasing.

"Big Brother France! You startled me," Feliciano squeaked, still huddled behind Ludwig.

"Hey asshat, keep your perverted, pedophile hands off my brother."

"Romano!" feliciano cried with his usual spacey joy.

"Shut up. My name is Lovino, dumbass!"

"Well, at least he isn't reffering to you as the country with one of the most violent, gruesome histories you can think of," Ludwig replied.

Lovino shot a death glare at the taller male. "Potato bastard," he grumbled.

"What do you have against me?" Ludwig asked, exasperated.

"He hates everyone," Antonio answered, sidling up alongside the growing group waiting for the busses to take them home.

"Oh not you too. I'm out. Bye, fuckasses," Lovino complained, stalking off to his car.

"See?" Antonio said, his point proven.

"Romano, wait for meeeee!" Feliciano cried, chasing after his brother.

"What is the deal with them?" Ludwig asked, turning to face the other two. Antonio simply shrugged, replying

"Nobody really knows. They never have anyone over and so nobody is really even sure where they live or what their home environment is like. For all we know, Lovino's bad attitude comes from dealing with an alcoholic father and Feliciano's mother was on drugs when she was pregnant, or they are actually super rich and Lovino is just the spoiled brat and Feliciano is, for some reason, always just sort of out of it."

Ludwig didn't have time to reply, for the busses pulled up and a crush of eager students pushed him forewords.

* * *

Ludwig was laying in bed, staring up at his ceiling. Why hadn't anyone ever questioned Feliciano's speech? Had no one ever confronted Lovino about his attitude? There was something not quite right here, not right at all. Ludwig rolled over onto his side.

Feliciano. Why did that little ball of mystery fascinate him so? His gut twisted at the thought of the nearly defenseless bot in a hostile environment. Ludwig wasn't exactly a very caring person, but for some reason he felt the need to protect the little guy.

Ludwig sighed and rolled back onto his back. He wished he had someone to talk to about these things sometimes. Gilbert was away at college now, and there really wasn't anyone to take his place. Sure, he could always talk to Honda, but the guy's feet just didn't fit right in Gilbert's shoes.

Speaking of Honda, didn't he say his best friend was back in town? What was his name... Herak... Hrakl...? Heracles, yeah, Heracles. This guy was just back from studying abroad and would be arriving back in school tomorrow.

'_I wonder what country he is,_' Ludwig pondered.

It was weird; he didn't ask what the guy was like. He wanted to know the country Feliciano had given him. It was funny, the countries fit most of the people so well he trusted those names more than any description.

Honda had told him that Heracles was very good at listening to your problems and that he should become a councilor one day. Maybe he should talk to this guy.

Ludwig sighed heavily. Why couldn't things just be simple? Squeezing his eyes shut, Ludwig attempted a date with sleep.

Sadly, she didn't seem attracted to him.

He sighed again, letting his mind wander.

'_I wonder if Feliciano would let me call him Feli. No, Lovino wouldn't like that. But I can just see it being a lot easier. Feli is a cuter name, better for the cuter sibling.'_

Ludwig didn't really care if that was weird to say. He wasn't very sensitive, more strait-to-the-point. If Feliciano was a cute guy, then Feliciano was a cute guy. If Antonio had nice hair, then Antonio had nice hair. If Lovino was damn annoying, then Lovino was damn annoying.

It really wasn't that complicated to him.

Ludwig stared at a small crack in his ceiling.

'_Others would call me gay if I am so strait-forewords around them.'_

He would know; that is the reason he doesn't stay in contact with any of the people from his old town.

Not that he really cares what others think, its just they all turned into assholes, and why bother talking to assholes?

'_Then again_,' he thought to himself. '_For some reason, you continue to talk to Lovino._'

He cracked a smile and closed his eyes, mind wandering aimlessly again.

* * *

"You look tired, Ludwig." Honda mentioned politely as they walked in to school.

"I know, I know. I couldn't sleep."

Honda nodded, then stopped suddenly, causing the person behind him to nearly knock him over.

"What is it?" Ludwig asked.

"I still have to finish my english. Sorry, Ludwig. I thought I was done but I guess I'm not. I have to finish that. Apologies."

"Eh, whatever. Bye, Honda. See you later."

The small Japanese boy ran off, leaving Ludwig alone in the emptying hallways.

"GERMANYYYYYYYY!" An excited voice cried as strong yet slender arms latched themselves around Ludwig's waist.

"Hello, Feliciano." The smaller boy looked up, a strange expression on his face. "Feliciano?" Ludwig asked cautiously. Gone were the slightly glazed over eyes, replaced by bright, sparkling ones. The childish grin had disappeared into a small frown. "You ok?"

The Italian focused on Ludwig's face, sending a shiver down his spine. Feliciano had never REALLY looked at him before.

"Ludwig."

Said man's eyebrows shot up. Had Feliciano really just said his name?

"F-Feliciano?"

The small boy stared at him intently for a moment longer before grabbing Ludwig around the neck and smashing their lips together. Ludwig was far to startled to move, but only for a moment. He pulled back quickly, stuttering out.

"What... What?!"

Feliciano's smile broke out, his eyes unfocused slightly and his only response was to scream out "PASTAAAAAAAAAA!" and take off, leaving a very confused Ludwig standing alone in the now-empty hallways.

The only thing running through his mind was:

'_What. The. Hell?_'


	3. Mystery House Mystery Solved?

**Sorry about the wait. I've been away and just got back, and haven't had enough access to a computer to post anything.**

**Extra-long chapter for you guys for putting up with me!**

**Any suggestions guys?**

**I love hearing from you. Seriously.**

* * *

"The fuck do you want?"

"Lovino, we need to talk. Now."

"What about?" Lovino spat back spitefully.

Ludwig's voice dropped to dangerous levels. "Your brother just kissed me."

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Why would I lie about this?"

Lovino's eyes widened and he stepped over to a corner, out of earshot of anyone else.

"What happened?"

"He got all weird, like he was actually looked at me. He called me by my name, my actual name. Then he just sorta..." Ludwig trailed off, then jumped back into his story. "Then he ran off yelling pasta and back to his normal self! Lovino, I need answers."

Lovino looked away, biting his lip. He sighed, and turned back.

"Look, don't tell anyone about this, ok? I'll talk to you after school. This... This just isn't the place."

Ludwig nodded, and Lovino walked away, an unusual contemplative expression on his face.

* * *

"Get over here, you bastard," Lovino grumbled, grabbing Ludwig's sleeve and dragging the blond to his car.

"Lovino, where are we-"

"Look, I have to get my brother home by a certain time, asshole. You'll just come with us, if you want answers."

"Uhm..."

"You need a cell?"

"No."

"Nobody will worry? Last thing I need is for some older potato bastard to get all up in my grill about your idiocy."

"Don't worry. As long as I'm home by tomorrow I'm fine."

"Right." Lovino turned back to the school suddenly, yelling "FELICIANO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!"

"Romano!" Came the faraway reply as said brother came running.

'_Damn, he's fast,_' Ludwig thought as Feliciano glomped his brother.

"Germany! Are you coming with us?"

"Yes he is, now let's go before people at home freak out," Lovino grumbled.

"YAY!" Feliciano cried, jumping into the front seat. Ludwig awkwardly climbed into the back seat while Lovino situated himself as driver and they took off.

"Lovino, you're driving really fast," Ludwig mumbled the same time as Feliciano cried

"So slow! Go faster, Romano!"

Lovino growled out something, most likely profanities, and continued at the same pace.

Ludwig stared out the window at the town speeding by. What would he be faced with?

* * *

"Here we are. Lets go."

Ludwig unbuckled and got out on a small dirt path. Where was he? He had never seen this part of town before. He was forced to muse and walk at the same time though, for Lovino didn't even wait before he jumped out and took off, followed dutifully by Feliciano.

"Feliciano I'll be in in a moment. Go inside."

"Alright Romano!"

"Fuckass," Lovino grumbled as his brother ran off down the path.

The remaining brother turned to face to tall blonde, scowl on his face. "Now keep in mind, people here aren't used to us bringing others around. Things should go smoothly, but if anyone asks, we're working on a huge science project together and we need the computer in my room to complete it. Got it?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Ok," Ludwig replied, confused. Lovino was acting so different from how he normally does. The anger had drained from his face, leaving only faint traces behind. Also, why would he need a cover-up for bringing another person around?

He followed the brunette up the path and around the bend to a pleasant-looking house surrounded by trees. The two climbed the well-worn steps up to a maroon-colored door, and entered the mystery house.

* * *

"Hello honey!"

"Raillee, Ludwig is here. We're going to my room."

"You brought someone over?!" Was the surprised response, bringing the mysterious voice out from around the corner. She beamed up at Ludwig (she was a rather short woman) and said cheerily "Oh, hello there, my name is Raillee! I am so pleased that the boys finally dragged someone home, and you seem nice enough."

"Nice to meet you ma'am. My name is, as Lovino mentioned, Ludwig."

The two shook hands and Lovino grumbled about "getting too friendly", dragging Ludwig off.

"C'mon fuckass. To my room."

"Watch that language!" Raillee called sternly.

"Yah yah whatever," was Lovino's response. He lead the blonde through a carpeted hallway to a plain door and into a messy room.

Seriously, it looked like a herd of antelope had just sort of ran through, followed by a hurricane and an angry gorilla. Noticing his disapproving glances, Lovino grumbled "We don't have company often."

The brunette gestured to the bed, signaling Ludwig to take a seat. He himself opted to lean against the wall.

"So."

"So."

"Feliciano kissed you?"

"Feliciano kissed me."

"Fuck."

"Yah."

An awkward pause followed before Lovino spoke up again.

"He has... Something."

"He has SOMETHING?"

"We don't know what to call it, ok? We've taken him to all sorts of doctors, but the closest they can come up with is autism, which isn't quite right either. He only shows one or two of the symptoms, and hasn't shown up positive on any test they've given him, including following him around for a day."

"Oh."

"He isn't all there, you know? Every once in a while, he'll snap out of it and he is totally there, a completely normal human-being. Then he falls back, and he's calling everybody countries."

"The country thing."

"The country thing."

"Why does he do that?"

"I think it helps him outline relationships between people better; sorta helps him figure his shit out? I don't know."

"So."

"So?"

"Why did he kiss me if he was all... Normal?"

"I... I don't know? Shock? Wanting to get in some human contact because he knew he was going to fall back, and he didn't know how long until the next time he pops out?"

"Did you ever consider him as being gay?"

Lovino paused, staring at Ludwig.

"What, are you fucking gay and you want him to be too?"

"No."

"There is no way my brother is gay. No, fucking, way. Get that in your head, potato bastard. Find some other brain-damaged kid to rape."

"I was just laying out the possibilities, ok?"

"Humph."

"I noticed you were talking about Feliciano as if he were two different people; the country-thing one and the kissing-me one."

"Your point?"

"Isn't it one and the same?"

"Uh, what? Of course! No shit, sherlock!"

"Now I'm confused."

Lovino grumbled something angrily, then said louder "You don't know what its like, living with him. He isn't even there!"

"I understand that."

"You shitting me? How?!"

"My brother was never really there for me. If he wasn't drinking, he was off at college. At least you only have to worry about him calling you "Italy". I had to worry about being hit by a fucking rhino!"

Lovino opened his mouth, then closed it with a snap. Ludwig turned his head away, ashamed. He'd never said anything like that before. Why was he telling this kid about his problems? It wasn't like he cared or anything.

"He hit you?"

"I was literally a punching bag once he got drunk. He never remembered once he sobered up, though. Didn't, or didn't want to."

"Didn't your family do anything?"

"He is my family."

"What?!"

"No parents, no worries I guess. I just gotta be home by morning, in case he decides to call to make sure I'm still alive."

"But..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

An awkward silence followed.

"Raillee isn't our mother," Lovino broke the silence.

"Go figure."

"I mean, Feliciano and I are related, just not to Raillee. She adopted us, you see."

"Ok."

"Well... We were so little back when we lived in Italy; I really don't remember. Whenever I think about, I only know the smell of fresh bread, warm smiles, and the most horrible screeching and screaming. We were told our parents died in a car crash, and I guess whatever happened messed with Feli's head. I mean, maybe he got brain damage?"

"So he randomly kisses people?"

Lovino's face heated "No, never. Not before now, anyways."

"To your knowledge."

"To my knowledge."

After a pause, Ludwig grumbled

"Fuck."

"What?"

"This is so weird!"

"No shit."

"Well, aside from the obvious I-was-just-kissed-by-a-brain-damaged-boy. I mean, he's just in the other room! Why don't we ask him?"

"He wouldn't be anle to explain."

"Have you tried?"

"I... No."

"Then get him in here."

Lovino stared incredulously at Ludwig for a moment, then stood, shaking his head and mumbling under his breath "fuckass" and walking out. A few minutes passed before he returned, odd brother in tow.

"Germany!"

"Hello Feliciano."

"Romano this is so exciting! I have two people that I am very fond of right here with me, and they are not arguing!"

"Sit down fuckass we need to talk to you."

"Feliciano, earlier today, can you remember when we were in the hallway together? You... Kissed me."

"Oh yes of course I do!"

Ludwig shot Lovino an I-told-you-so look.

"Why did you do it?"

"Germany are you saying you didn't like it? Oh I am so sorry I didn't

mean to make you hate me please say you don't hate me oh you do now don't you!"

"Ah!" Ludwig cried, waving his hands in a frantic attempt to let the crying boy see his meaning. "No, I don't hate you, that isn't what I meant! Please stop crying. I meant that it made me uncomfortable, and though I do wish to remain friends I need to know your reasoning!"

Suddenly, Feliciano stopped crying and looked up, staring first at his brother and then at Ludwig.

"Ludwig is in our house. We have someone in our house!"

His eyes snapped back to his brother.

"I like having people here Lovino."

Then he wrung his hands about his head in distress, clear eyes frantically looking around. They stopped on Ludwig, and there thay stayed, even as they glazed over.

"I like people... I like them here... I like..." He grinned and turned to his brother in that spacey way of his "Pasta!"

Then he skipped out of the room as if nothing had happened at all.

Once he left, the two boys sat and stared at each other.

"Well."

"Damn."

"Second time today."

"Weird."

"Is that normal?"

"Hell no."

"... Damn."

"Well... I think you might want to head home soon."

"Yah."

"I'll drive you."

"Thanks."

The two awkwardly shuffled downstairs, and headed in the direction of the door.

"Leaving so soon Ludwig?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do feel free to come by and time! Goodness knows the boys need more social time."

"Thank you Raillee, I'll see what I can do."

With that, the two walked out of the not-so-mysterious mystery house.

* * *

"So, see you tomorrow, I guess," Lovino grumbled, parked outside of Ludwig's house.

"Yah, I think I wi-" Ludwig stopped, mouth hanging open.

"What? Why'd you stop tal-"

"Fuck!"

"What?!"

Ludwig turned wide blue eyes to the boy next to him.

"My brother is home."

Duh-duh-duhhhhhh!


End file.
